dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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