In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize