dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK