i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just googled if crying burns calories
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.