if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.