Texts From Last Night

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  (434): View more from Virginia

  u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it

  (1-434): View more from Virginia

  but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text

  (434): View more from Virginia

  then give me ur phone

  (1-434): View more from Virginia

  NEVER!!

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  (434): u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it (1-434): but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text (434): then give me ur phone (1-434): NEVER!! http://tfl.nu/jzom
  Replies (3) Good night (1061) Bad night (417)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?

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  (816): Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king? http://tfl.nu/6ro0
  Replies (17) Good night (523) Bad night (3028) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  ...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are

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  (562): ...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are http://tfl.nu/3209
  Replies (11) Good night (4556) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I am midnight drunk by noon

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  (773): I am midnight drunk by noon http://tfl.nu/nu2g
  Replies (7) Good night (4415) Bad night (534) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?

  (330): View more from Ohio

  yes... and buy you lunch

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  (216): wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer? (330): yes... and buy you lunch http://tfl.nu/rnfb
  Replies (24) Good night (7854) Bad night (561)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.

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  (610): So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way. http://tfl.nu/846z
  Replies (10) Good night (5604) Bad night (848) Order T-Shirt
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones

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  (985): It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones http://tfl.nu/0il5
  Replies (6) Good night (4768) Bad night (739) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail

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  (267): So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail http://tfl.nu/dt1f
  Replies (5) Good night (3169) Bad night (707) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.

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  (207): My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad. http://tfl.nu/6faf
  Replies (8) Good night (4373) Bad night (969) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket

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  (252): See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket http://tfl.nu/0lhc
  Replies (11) Good night (1339) Bad night (422)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"

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  (780): We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!" http://tfl.nu/le50
  Replies (5) Good night (2454) Bad night (314) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.

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  (951): I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day. http://tfl.nu/elsi
  Replies (3) Good night (1662) Bad night (565) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.

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  (310): I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour. http://tfl.nu/eqf3
  Replies (10) Good night (1519) Bad night (487) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on

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  (508): he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on http://tfl.nu/t183
  Replies (5) Good night (796) Bad night (235)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.

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  (425): I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it. http://tfl.nu/bssm
  Replies (3) Good night (737) Bad night (175)

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