Texts From Last Night

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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.

  (260): View more from Indiana

  At least you didn't call me Brittany this time

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  (574): Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa. (260): At least you didn't call me Brittany this time http://tfl.nu/6s1p
  Replies (6) Good night (890) Bad night (1534)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  yes

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?

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  (601): ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest? (1-601): yes (601): did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me? http://tfl.nu/1ahx
  Replies (13) Good night (4984) Bad night (1022)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Jealous.

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  (417): Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls. (573): Jealous. http://tfl.nu/6b8u
  Replies (9) Good night (3874) Bad night (1820)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.

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  (402): I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew. http://tfl.nu/1b9c
  Replies (30) Good night (8241) Bad night (1198)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.

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  (617): these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean. http://tfl.nu/z2n6
  Replies (13) Good night (2368) Bad night (1503)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.

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  (713): Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere. http://tfl.nu/qua7
  Replies (3) Good night (1208) Bad night (619)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?

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  (715): you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question? http://tfl.nu/kzcn
  Replies (11) Good night (1397) Bad night (859)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident

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  (506): Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident http://tfl.nu/1apo
  Replies (7) Good night (1563) Bad night (665)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.

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  (512): Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick. http://tfl.nu/ysyl
  Replies (12) Good night (665) Bad night (3438)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice

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  (505): pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice http://tfl.nu/a73k
  Replies (7) Good night (1135) Bad night (573)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."

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  (901): You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants." http://tfl.nu/f9vw
  Replies (6) Good night (563) Bad night (1253)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour

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  (937): Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour http://tfl.nu/gdsh
  Replies (12) Good night (2544) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.

  (1-808): View more from Hawaii

  To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.

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  (808): Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen. (1-808): To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one. http://tfl.nu/g3ky
  Replies (9) Good night (1334) Bad night (519)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?

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  (616): I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night? http://tfl.nu/mkh7
  Replies (3) Good night (425) Bad night (669)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.

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  (847): This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends. http://tfl.nu/w6fi
  Replies (4) Good night (618) Bad night (511)

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