My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
