There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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