Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
