Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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