I think my fart just growled at me.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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