i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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