pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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