We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize