You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Holy sore nipples Batman
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
