I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
