Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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