i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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