Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
