I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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