Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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