she smelled like a LAN party
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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