Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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