Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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