I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
