After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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