I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
