i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
