Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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