just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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