Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
