He uses pillows to masturbate.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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