my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
