i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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