My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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