Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
