We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
