id be glad to
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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