She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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