Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize