That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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