It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
