I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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