Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
