please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
