suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
