I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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