Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
