Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
