I am in a vortex of obligation.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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