doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
