90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
