Whod you bang
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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