dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
