ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
