do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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