It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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