Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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