So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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