She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
