I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
