fuck your aforementioned shoe
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
