I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize